Guaranteed Privacy

If you really want to be able to express yourself in complete privacy, just write a blog.

It's odd to "publish" something that you have to admit you don't expect anyone to read.  It's kind of a fun format.  I mean, someone could easily find the blog and read it, but even if I wanted that to happen, it's improbable.  I could send people the link, but that's not really why I write it.

Why do I write this?  It's sort of like singing while you run or posting the only comment on something online.  It's fun to express yourself, but you're not communicating, you're just broadcasting.  No, that's not the right word.  Broadcasting supposes that a broad audience is receiving it.

I think it's a little like putting a letter in a bottle.  There is a very remote chance that someone may open it up and read it one day, but if they do, you'll be nowhere near and you'll never know it.

Is it ego?  Is it self-indulgent?  I guess it would be ego if you expected people to read it and follow it.  It is definitely self-indulgent, but there's a funny twist.  It's different than a diary locked away somewhere.  It's different than writing on a Word document, password protecting it, and keeping it on your computer where no one can read it.  When blogging, you realize that someone could see it, you just don't expect them to.

I guess it's a lot like sunbathing in the nude in your back yard with a privacy fence all around.  It's possible someone will be able to see in or will come up and pop their head over the fence, and that's part of what makes it kind of thrilling.  The risk of exposure.

I guess the other part is that when you think there's even a remote chance that someone will read it, you write the content to that quasi-fictional someone.  I heard a person say that they wrote blogs or did podcasts or some activity, as if they were writing an email to a good friend (and they kept a particular person in mind).  I guess I don't have a fictional audience in mind.  If I think about who might read this, I think it is just as likely to be someone that doesn't like me as someone who is either neutral or a friend.  Actually, if I had to make a list of people that I know don't like me, it would only be one name long.  But you have to consider that there are people that know you that really don't like you, and you'll never find out.  I believe that's just a condition in life, you grow enemies that you don't know.  People out there that are routing for you to fail.

To those people I have one thing to say: I don't know shit about you, but you're reading my blog, so who's the one having to put up with the other?  Just keep reading and don't ever let me know you're out there.  Better a silent and theoretical enemy than an active asshole in my life.  I hope you have a good day!