Childraising

I've got a son coming into the world any day now, and I've been thinking about the things I'd like to do with him to raise him. I know that these are a little like ideals, and while they are nice ideas, I'm sure I'll fall short of trying all of them and give up on others after attempting them, but for now, it's nice to have these little fantasies about what I can do to help prepare my son for the world.

I started making a list when the ideas started coming left and right, but I don't have the list now, I'm just going to remember the parts of it that I can.

First of all, I don't want to be one of those parents that is going to do exactly the things that my parents did if I thought it was stupid when I was on the receiving end. This means not telling them that their music is crap, specifically. Generally, it means to allow for differences in opinion, allow them to enjoy whatever cultural offerings they enjoy as long as it doesn't hurt someone or prevent them from getting their work done. This means paying attention to the difference between letting them enjoy something that isn't to your taste and stating your objections when they are well reasoned.

I want to teach him Spanish from the time he is a little baby, so that it will be easier when he's older.

I've always thought it would be good to teach them sign language, because I understand that children can learn that way before they can speak. I think sign language is also great for communicating when the noise level is too high, when you're trying to be silent, or as a secret shared language or code.

I want to have him try to do things blindfolded from time to time. It's amazing how many things you can learn to do if you can't see. I used to watch a show when I was a kid about a blind detective, and you learned a lot of the tricks the blind use to navigate and relate to the world. I think a variation on blind man's bluff could make the exercise fun and interesting.

I want to try some ESP exercises with him. I have heard that ESP is a latent talent that people have that they unlearn as they age. Perhaps he will be able to use it a little bit if he opens his mind to the possibility at a young age.

I'd like to teach him to exercise, stretch, and meditate. These are skills that would be very handy to have built in early, rather than wishing you had some way to learn it when it's more difficult because you are set in your ways.

I'd like to teach him to appreciate nature and wildlife, and to photograph it. There's no reason not to hand over one of today's super simple cameras and let your kid have a shot at it. Appreciating nature is usually just a matter of paying attention, then actually thinking about what you are seeing. It can be pretty simple.

I want him to appreciate books and to learn that there are many fun secrets buried in them. I want to remember not to assume that he's too young to understand something. It's worth trying to explain it no matter what age he is.

I would like to teach him to introduce himself to people and not be shy.

I plan on exposing him to things that many would consider too dangerous for a little kid, mostly to teach him what those dangers are so he doesn't discover it on his own in what could be a fatal mistake.

I want to teach him to admit his mistakes and admit when he doesn't know something, and I hope to teach by example. I vow to avoid taking correction from him when he catches me saying or doing something incorrectly.

I hope to teach him manners by treating him respectfully. I hope to teach him humor by letting him be silly. I hope to teach him love by loving him unconditionally, and tolerance by accepting him for what he is.

I wish I could be certain of remembering these pledges, and always abiding by them, and I hope he will forgive me for my shortcomings. I hope he'll be proud that I am his father and know that I am proud of his accomplishments and better nature.

I think I'm ready.