Social Isolation

I listened to a podcast of an old radio program from 2004. It was talking about the phenomena of flashmobs that was briefly popular around the time Dean was the front runner for the Democrats. I remember Dean had figured out how to generate campaign contributions from the Internet and there was supposed to be a whole new era of social interactions based on contacts made on the web.

The program was interesting, because these two reporters decided to participate in this website that arranged group meetings between like minded people. Supposedly, if you liked Belgian beer or Dutch impressionists, you could sign up and you would be invited to meet with several of them to discuss your common interests. While the woman kept going to these bars and seeing no one there from the group, the guy kept going and meeting Irish Ex-pats at rowdy pubs and other fun things.

The program then morphed into a discussion of Social Isolation. This is supposedly something that is increasing either despite or because of the Internet. She talked about how people actually interact with less and less people and that they are feeling more and more alone.

Part of our isolation has to do with the polarization of America. The increase in political polarization has spread to personal rejectionism. On a personal level people aren't just polarized one of two ways, but are ready to completely reject others because of any one thing they don't like. In politics, rather than just disagreeing with someone over an issue, people now tend to listen until something is said that they don't agree with, then label their target and reject everything about them. The problem is that everyone is an individual and we will all have some trait that others don't approve of, so it's possible to reject everyone. It also seems easier nowadays to keep away from others than to interact with them. This leads to Singularization, or the isolation of the individual.

This even happens with friends, because everyone changes over time. What is it that makes friends drift away, and why is it so hard to keep in touch once you start to drift? I've been cleaning out my parents' personal mementos, and it is amazing how rich their early lives were of friends and acquaintances. It made me think about my own life, all the people I've known over the years and how so many of them are no longer in touch. Drifting apart is not always from rejection over some trait or offense at some act, sometimes it's just a lifestyle effect. You find yourself not doing the same things or available the same time anymore.

I listened to an essay from the series This I Believe where this guy talked about the assumption of The Basic Decency of People. It was interesting. This guy talked about how he would get mad at people in traffic for costing him half a second. He talked about his parents, who lived in Germany and had found a way to forgive the Germans for the atrocities of WWII. He operated under the assumption that people were basically decent. All his actions followed from this basic assumption. It was an interesting concept to wrap your head around, and really, when you think about it, probably well justified. Most people, if they are not decent, probably think of themselves as decent. There are few hard core criminals, chronically selfish people, or generally thoughtless people. Most people are just working their way through life and would like to be thought of as one of the good people. One woman remarked that when she ran into people in traffic that did something irritating, that she would make up a story about them. They were a doctor and they were rushing to the hospital, or something to make their actions seem reasonable and forgivable.

When it comes right down to it, wouldn't that be a good way to look at everyone in life?