Do we have free will? Can we actually decide what to do and do it? Can we actually decide what to think or change what we think?
I listened to Smart People Podcast, episode 167 with Jonathan Levi. I should say I started to listen to this. It got me depressed, talking about how Elon Musk decided that he wanted to learn actual rocket science and teaching himself in 4 months. It talked about the discipline and speed reading speed comprehension skills this required. I quit listening. It was too depressing.
I recently binge watched Limitless. This was a TV series (one season) adapted from a movie with Bradley Cooper that I have not yet seen. The series continues the story, with a slacker musician being introduced to a drug, NZT, that opens his mind and brings the power of his entire mind into play. He's able to remember anything and absorb, sort, and comprehend large volumes of data quickly. He solves crimes for the FBI with this talent.
If I was on that drug, I'd solve cancer and mortality, disease, politics and economics. Fuck crime.
I could use the skills in my profession. If I knew all the customers and all of what they are doing and each time I interacted with them I would know if we were on track to sell something or if it was mental masturbation, I could really make some money. I'd know what to do, when to do it, and how to capitalize on it. I could solve the Frito problem in a flash.
So I shrink down into my limited self and get frustrated with the lack of progress.
Yet the nature of reality still beckons me. I sense the possibilities. I sense the potential, the limitless potential, and I want to explore that feeling, that mode, that way of fulfilling my destiny.
Desert canyon. I remember meeting the Israeli soldiers on the bottom of the trail to the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon. It was so incredible to be at the bottom and dip our toes in the river and toast our successful descent. It had not yet occurred to us that the real challenge was going to be the climb out. Few did what we were doing, so it made the prospect seem tiny. It was impossible to tell if the Israelis were lovers or not. They did not appear to be. They were only 22 and they were not allowed to rent cars, since you have to be 26 to do that in the states. They bought an old beater instead. They fixed it up and started off over America, traversing from coast to coast and from top to bottom. They'd seen more than I had.
Why would a hedgeapple be an object of fascination. Perhaps the guy had never been in the woods before. On the Cub Scout hike, Paws on the Path, the adults didn't really seem to have a clue. The boys did, but they didn't stop to savor anything except the stream. This is also when I saw the Piliated Woopecker. It was calling and coming in to our area, doing a final glide path. It flared it's wings and grabbed a branch and looked down at us. It took about half a second to look at us and decide that it did not want to have anything to do with us. It flew off, still making its distinctive call.
Fever dreams. I can't recall if I was able to overcome the lack of sleep, or if I succumbed to it. I think maybe reality shifts a bit when you are sleep deprived.
